Hustling Part 2 - Understanding basic male psychology - Decision Making

So in the last post, we talked about the underlying motivation for our customers to come into the club.  All that's good for is getting their foot in the door.  What happens once they're inside is a whole other can of worms.

Understanding the background for what brings a man to a strip club is important, vital even, to properly manipulating him into giving you all his money, then repeatedly returning to do so again over a decent period of time... which is our goal.  Right?  You want long term regulars who predictably spend lots of money on a semi-regular basis, so that the uncertainty of how much money you make is lessened if not outright eliminated... right?

So, we know what, in a broad sense, has gotten him in the club.  But, that knowledge alone is only of so much value, in the same way that knowing the reason a person goes to a restaurant is because they are hungry.  Ostensibly, a person walking into a McDonalds and a person walking into a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse are both fulfilling the same need, namely, they are hungry.  But, there are a myriad of reasons why the McDonalds-goer is choosing McDonalds and not Ruth's Chris, and vice versa.  The McD person may not be able to afford fancier (or they might, and are just cheap/frugal.)  They could eat healthy most of the time, but count McD as their "cheat meal."  The Ruth's Chris person could afford to eat there (or they could be overspending and living beyond their means.)  They could have a refined sense of taste for good food and drink, or they could be super bourgois and simply be eating there because it's fancy.  Maybe they fucking love steak.

I live in Portland Oregon, home of 60-something strip clubs.  Here, there are literally 5 different choices for any one type of strip club you can think of.  So that right there is a literal example of the metaphor used above.  Furthermore, at any club, there are 5 to 25 girls working, depending on the club, so you have menu diversity further muddling up the decision making process.

I KNOW this is one of the most frustrating aspects of dancing, the seemingly random process by which the customers tip and get dances from some girls, while entirely ignoring others.  A common explanation is preference in A) body type, B) hair color, C) skin color, etc.  Another is the assumption that the girl(s) getting the dances are dirty, possibly hookers.  Sometimes girls will even turn that negative attitude back on themselves, saying "I look fat tonight" or "My hair is FUCKED, ugh!", or just the lazy, self-defeatist "I'm just not going to make money tonight."

And sure, sometimes those explanations are the actual case.  BUT, more often than not, they are a mere contributing factor, a side influence, NOT the actual main reason.  When our customer is in the club, talking to girls, getting dances, he's not merely taking the first thing offered, he is going through a process of recognition, analysis, and engagement, all oriented towards the fulfillment of what he's there for.  He talks to a girl, subconsciously observes and analyzes her, and then compares what he thinks she will give him to what he wants.  If what the customer wants is just a quick handy in the back, he could talk to the prettiest, best dressed, classiest, most amazing dancer in the club, and reject her in favor of the girl who seems the sluttiest.  Similarly, a customer who wants an almost real relationship with a dancer, one that is basically a girlfriend without all the messy parts of a girlfriend relationship, can be propositioned by every whore in the building, and be turned off by every one of them, until someone with some class and wit talks to him.

So, the real trick is trying to figure out what kind of girl, what kind of experience, what level of interaction the customer wants.  And this isn't the kind of thing that you can just ask either, or judge solely on appearance, nor on how they tip at the stage.  There are, however, other signifiers you can use to analyze them, and thus tailor your sales pitch accordingly.

For example, a complete unwillingness to spend any money is indicative of a man who has a mysogynistic view of women, who thinks the women should be glad to be around him, and should furthermore be gratifying him free of charge.  These time vampires are worthless, and even if you do manage to get a lapdance or two out of them, it usually takes an hour or so of chit-chatting before they finally give in.  They're not frugal, they are wastes of time.  If they're not willing to buy you more than one drink, and not willing to get a dance within 15 minutes of talking to you, but still want you to hang out with them, they're not negotiating, they are just trying to get something for nothing.  They are not game, and are not our real target.  A real customer, of the type you're after, will totally understand why you're at work (money) and if he's not particularly into you, will make it known, and not take it personally when you leave to pursue other customers.

On the other end of the spectrum, the guy who flashes his fat wad of $20s, talks about getting VIPS or bottles of champagne, brags about how successful he is, how many fancy vacations he takes, etc, is also a waste of time, generally speaking, and for much the same reason as the Scrooge McDuck described above.  He too wants something for nothing, but instead of using withholding money to get what he wants, he uses the promise of lots of money.  Neither one delivers, usually, and here's why:  they haven't fully committed themselves to how the club works, that all interactions between customer and dancer are based on monetary exchange.  This is usually because they have an attitude of superiority, and unrealistic worldview and appreciation for their place in it.  To put it another way, if these guys were as awesome as they think they are, they should have no reason to be in the club at all, they'd be out at fancy nightclubs fucking supermodels.  But they're not.  Because they are sad, delusional fucks who haven't picked up the hint that they fail at life.

A willingness to spend money, whether $80 or $2000 as it depends on their particular finances, shows an acceptance of the core transaction of the club, the balance of power and purpose behind it's existence, and thus your role as a dancer.  They understand, in some way  or another, that you don't get something for nothing.  

Some men, if particularly sucessful at their business endeavors, will attempt to bargain and negotiate with you, but in general are still willing to risk their money in the hope of getting what they want.  And in that process, by listening more than speaking, you can tell what the customer is wanting from a dancer. 

If he's talking a lot, he wants a good listener, who asks questions at the appropriate moments, but generally lets him talk.  

If he is asking questions, he wants you to be some fantasy girl, and is hoping you will give the answers that will confirm that you are, in fact, said fantasy girl.  

If he's generally quiet, but not disengaged, he is most likely looking for simple companionship, and thus not terribly interested in conversation at all, but just your proximity and your prescence, and I mean your "prescence" as in you being there, really there, in that moment, not just sitting there thinking about other things.  

If the customer is drinking pretty heavily, he's probably psyching himself up to do whatever it is he wants, but is still (sub)consciously guilty about, such as "cheating" on his wife/significant other.  This guy needs the permission to go ahead and enjoy himself, a judgement free environment where his needs aren't bad.  He needs to give himself permission, and the alcohol usually does just that.

And on and on.  I shouldn't have to list out every type of customer there is, because it all boils down to pretty simple and easily identifiable patterns.  As a female in our western society, sizing up men and their motivations should be fairly effortless at this point in your life.  The thing that trips up most dancers is their own preconceptions and biases.  You assume something about a customer before talking to him, good or bad or indifferent, and it colors your entire interaction, possibly making you miss an opportunity to make money.  The trick is to keep an open mind, EVERY time, and listen to your subconscious.  You can identify these guys almost immediately, you just have to get your own brain out of the way.  Keep an open mind and approach every customer as if he's the first one you've talked to all night.  Keep that up, and you will locate the customers who are into what you're offering, who you can tailor your sales pitch, your stage persona, towards what they prefer.

So, we've gotten our customer in the door, and now we've gotten him talking to you and interested in what you're putting down, because we understand why he's there, and we can make educated guesses as to what kind of girl he wants and what he's looking to do at the club.  Now, the real work starts.  We've just been setting the stage, getting the background and props and lighting just right.  Now, it's time for you, the actor, to take the stage and bring the house down.

How do you do that?  By engaging the Override Switch.

(Continued next post)